Me. Definitely, it's me. Orion has been living with us for almost a year now, and still has made no progress at all regarding his separation anxiety. With the quality and reliability of our doggie daycare in question (a whole other story), it's really becoming a problem again. It's not all his fault. After all, some stupid human did this to him in the first place. And in the past year, my husband's work schedule has changed dramatically over and over again, sending the whole household into a constant state of uncertainty. However, I can't so much as take my son to the bus stop without the dog destroying the blinds, and our daughter has missed out on playdates and the magical little outings that all toddlers should enjoy. That's a HUGE sacrifice in my book, and one I'm not willing to prolong.
Tomorrow Orion has a check up. It's time to consider anxiety medications, a DAP collar, anything to get this dog to chill out. Everyone says, "Just crate him and leave. He'll get over it." but guess what? I did that and he panicked and within 7 minutes flat his nose and paws were raw and bleeding. I've had "trainers" (they called themselves) tell me that they could take him for 3 days and teach him to respect me. Uh-huh, right. Exactly how is beating him for 3 days going to make him less scared and panicky? I've even had people tell me to get another dog to keep him comfortable. While that may work, seriously, Orion's almost 100 lbs. He should count as 2 dogs on his own, and we can barely afford to sustain his cushy lifestyle.
So now, the dog and the toddler are napping, and here I am typing my frustrations away. Hopefully something will give soon. Everyone loves him - but I'm the only one trapped by him. It occurred to me this morning that many people of my generation face the same issue as their parents age, trying to give them the best possible care 24/7, only to burn out or compromise their own health. Perhaps it's good that I'm learning to set boundaries with Orion, in the event that I have to make choices with my parents later in life. Finding care I truly trust and making time for myself are lessons that are gradually sinking in with me. With my kids, I didn't have to make the first choice, and I'm still learning the latter. So I guess Orion's just a giant guinea pig, care-wise. I think they call guinea pigs Orion's size "capybaras". Time to take the capybara for a walk.
