Avoid Anything That Eats

Avoid anything that eats. Have you heard that old adage? If you never have a plant, a pet, or a kid, you'll save yourself lots of money and headaches. It costs $16,000 to own a medium-sized dog over his lifetime, and hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise a child from birth to 18 - college not included! Think those cute kittens are free? How about $80 at the vet, or $ 18 of cat food every few weeks. Even the plants will cost you. First you have to put them in something, then something bigger, and bigger, and in the meantime you have to water them, too. At some point, your cat will eat and barf up your plant, so you'll be shucking out more cash for carpet cleaner, too. Right now our $ 600 Dyson "Animal" vacuum is in the shop (again) so we had to spend another $300 for a "back-up" vacuum. I'm no neat freak, I confess, but even I can't go more than a few days without a vacuum in a house with 2 cats, a dog and 2 kids under six. I'll be using said back-up vacuum to clean up the shards and splinters of my bedroom door, which my "free" rescued dog just mauled. He just missed me (aw, isn't that sweet?). I can't imagine what it will cost to replace the door frame, since the cats have always focused more on destroying soft surfaces. I think I've curbed the spending for today at least. I put the dog outside, next to the cheap furniture. I'm almost certain he won't destroy that. Uh-oh. I think I see him eying the door frame there, too. I may have to intervene soon.

Of course, if you're reading this, you're probably already a mom. You're thinking, "Oh Great! Now what do I do with these kids? If only I'd known!" No worries. Although kids and other things that eat do cost us a lot of money, and time, and patience (and money, if I hadn't already mentioned that), they do bring something to the table. Love, fulfillment, purpose, and fun, just to name a few perks. It's sometimes hard to remember the intangibles when you're staring down the bills or cleaning up yet another mess, but if you stop and just take a moment to appreciate how much they add to our lives, I think you'll find the benefits outweigh the costs. Even big dumb dogs are worth it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to call the dog trainer about his bill and learn how to install replacement moulding around a door. Oh, $%$#@!, he's going for the window now, and I don't do windows!